Encouragement

Originally published in the Spring 2011 issue of the Home Matters Magazine

Were it in my power to name this generation, I would lean toward something like “The Age of Acceleration.” Compare any area of life now to what life was like 40 years ago. It is hard to find deceleration anywhere. Media, sports, churches, movies, shops, restaurants, books, cars, you name it every major area of our culture has accelerated, and we’re all trying to keep up.

And, yes, even home schooling is succumbing to the spirit of the age. After 20 years of slow and steady growth, fueled mostly by families choosing to home school out of spiritual conviction, it is rapidly becoming an “industry” and a “market” accelerating up the growth curve fueled by families looking for an educational and social fix. The predominant, emerging educational model seems based on the presumption that it is easier to prove that your children do a lot to learn, than it is to prove that they learn a lot from what they do. (Read that again, I think it might be profound.)

In that environment, we will all, regardless of the educational model we follow, at some time begin to feel under pressure to over commit. You’ll know it when you feel obliged to pour out a litany of tasks, goals, activities and events when your neighbor asks, “What is it you really do all day?” You’ll find yourself doing a little bit more, taking a few more lessons, scheduling more classes in the support group co-op, getting involved in one more sport activity (just one?), doing more at church, volunteering for more ministry. It’s the nature of the age, sure, but that’s just the easy explanation. The hard part is realizing that it is what happens when we lose sight of what our lives are really about from God’s perspective.

God did not design us to be Energizer bunnies who just keep going and going and going until one day the battery runs dry. Sally and I have been encouraged this year to go in a different direction, energized by Paul’s simple admonition to the Thessalonian church. He told them to “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands.” He was telling them to slow down, to avoid getting caught up in the culture around them, and to be different. He goes on to say that it will be a part of their testimony for Christ. Burned-out, busy Christian families are not a good testimony of God’s grace and peace.

With a busy home schooling household, an expanding ministry to Christian parents, a stopping-point house for friends and family passing through Colorado, and a new church just started and growing, it feels like the throttle of our life is glued to the floor right now. If we don’t learn to decelerate like the Thessalonians, we’ll either run out of gas, or crash and burn. That is why we are “making it our ambition” this year to do whatever we need to do as a family to find the “quiet life” that Paul envisioned. After all, how can we “be still and know that I am God” if we are always moving?

There is no formula for getting to the “quiet life” just walking in the Spirit and keeping the goal in view. However, there are some familiar principles and proverbs we try to keep in mind that might help you put the brakes on life if you are beginning to feel the acceleration of culture in your family.

“Redeem the time.” You cannot “save” one second of time; you can only redeem it. I am surgically attached to my Day-Timer, and yet I know that over-emphasis on time management can become a bondage. Every minute of your day is already in slavery to the world until you make a conscious decision to “redeem” it, to buy it out of slavery and set it free for God’s use. Trying to save or manage unredeemed time only leads me into slavery to it. I fall back often on a proverb that expresses the human-divine nature of our relationship with time: “The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps.”

“Number my days.” We are constantly stepping back from the daily immersion in the details of living to look at the bigger picture of life. Sally once had a dream in which God took her far up into space until the earth was just a ball, and He showed her how trivial many of her worries and concerns were in relation to eternity with Him. When we stop to consider how very few are the days we have on earth to build for an eternity with God, we are always motivated to use them more wisely. However, numbering our days does not come naturally. It is a practice that God needs to “teach us” because we won’t learn it from the culture or from life.

“This one thing I do.” Paul had a single purpose of mind. Through much practice, we are learning to limit our priorities in life, and trying to focus on the few things that are the most important. It was life-changing for us as parents to realize that it is not our responsibility to make our children “happy” by making sure they do everything the world says they are entitled to do as children. Rather, it is our responsibility to make them “mature” by focusing on godly priorities. That one realization helps us focus our family commitments on what God says is most important, not the world.

If you think about it, home schooling is one of the few areas in our culture that, by its nature, has the potential to provide the kind of witness that Paul envisioned. Few others in American Christian culture are able to ambitiously pursue the “quiet life” like home schooling families. Too often, though, too many find themselves in the slipstream of the rapidly accelerating Mac truck of culture. It feels nice to not have to think about driving, so they let go of the wheel, sit back, and let culture just pull them along. If that has happened to you, WAKE UP! Grab hold of the wheel of your life and steer your way back to a safer speed in the slow lane. It may be the most important spiritual decision you’ll make as a family, and a powerful witness to many others along the road. Perhaps that, and not just the education, is why God will bless Christian home schooling.

As a seasoned, seminary-trained Bible teacher, Clay’s messages are characterized by sound biblical exposition and the practical application of biblical truth to daily life. He has a heart for discipleship and training, and for communicating truth from God’s Word to encourage and equip parents, children, and families to be faithful and fruitful as Christians. Clay enjoys imparting a clear biblical vision to parents for their lives and for their children’s lives, and then showing them practically and simply how to live out that vision day-to-day within their homes.

Originally published in the Spring 2011 issue of the Home Matters Magazine

One of the highlights of my year was seeing Sarah, my first child, graduate this past spring. With close friends and family gathered in our living room to celebrate and share in the occasion, Sarah displayed some of the unique qualities and skills God has graciously built into her life. She played several of her favorite piano pieces, read a chapter of a book she is writing, discussed some of the more influential authors and books in her life, gave a short talk about what God had been teaching her, and shared what she hoped to do with the rest of her life. Of course, I was so proud and blessed to see what a lovely young woman my daughter was becoming.

But the highlight for me was not that her education had been “completed.” Rather, it was knowing that her life had really just begun, and that God had used me to give her His life. She graduated not just from our home school, but into her own life and walk with God. By God’s grace, and in spite of the academic holes I have left in her education, she seems “well equipped for every good work.” God called me to the higher goal of giving Sarah life, not just giving her an education, and it pleases me greatly that I see not only her sharp mind, but her growing heart full of life and love for God.

Since that special graduation weekend, I have reflected often on what it means to be a life-giving mother. By God’s design, I have the unique privilege of giving the “life” that I have been given by God, to the children that God has given life to by me. God has called me to partner with Him in the spirit of the first mother, Eve, whom Adam called “the mother of all the living.” I am called by my loving God to give life to my children’s relationships so they will love as He loved. I am called by my sovereign God to give life to their spirits as they learn about God, His word, and His greatness and purpose for our lives. I am called by my wise God to give life to their minds, that they might think clearly and draw from a deep well of knowledge and understanding. I am called by my true God to give life to their appetites, values, traditions, and work habits. I am called by my powerful God to give life to their own visions for how God might use them in His kingdom work, and even how He might use them to shape history by building in their homes another generation of godly children. I am called by the living God to give life to my children.

Being a life-giving mother truly encompasses all that is about me and stretches all that is within me. It uses all of my gifts. It pushes me to depend on God for unanswerable questions. It expands my ability to be unselfish. It requires the best I have to give in every area. But it blesses me with showers of undeserved and generous love given by my children, and fills me with a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.

As I traveled throughout the U.S. this past year, I was struck with how tired and weary and discouraged many of the home schooling mothers were. Indeed, this task of nurturing, discipling and educating my children at home is more demanding than I ever could have imagined. Yet, I know it is God’s best for my family. I have such a renewed desire to refresh and encourage these precious mothers to help them understand how strategic every day of their work at home is. They are building for the next generation a righteous leadership whose hearts are devoted to God. If children are not trained and loved and nurtured and protected in their own homes, by their very own parents, then who is there to give them the life they so long for in their hearts, that we as mothers are designed by God to give? No one else can do for them what God designed you to do.

I believe we all, as home schooling moms, need the constant renewing of our vision for being life-giving mothers for our children. That is what will sustain us through the difficult times so that we are able finish the race God has laid before us. And not just finish by falling over the line in exhaustion, but by finishing confident and strong! I want to cross that line, hear the cheers, and then listen to the great stories in heaven of countless children whose lives were shaped by faithful, life-giving moms who gave their lives for their children. I want to hear your story, and rejoice with you to see the fruit of life given to your children.

Discipleship is the heartbeat of Sally’s life, whether it is in teaching and motivating other women, or in training and instructing her own children. Through her books and speaking ministries, God has used Sally to bring encouragement and inspiration to thousands of Christian mothers who desire to follow God’s biblical design for their lives and homes. All of her messages are filled with stimulating biblical instruction, touching personal anecdotes and illustrations, and wise spiritual insights born out of her own experience in life and ministry.

Originally published in the Fall 2009 issue of the Home Matters Magazine

Many mothers seem to struggle with homeschooling. They obviously have the desire to be a help to their husband in this area, but as the family grows, they can’t figure out how to “fit it all in.” I hope these tips can help someone (1 Corinthians 14:40).

1. Have time with the Lord (Lamentations 3:23)

Get up at the scheduled time, before the children wake. This is an absolute necessity if you are going to have a successful day. If you examine your “good” days versus your “bad” days, you’ll find that you started your “good” days communicating with the Lord. Honor the Lord first of all, then put your first load of clothes in the washing machine.

2. Don’t teach your children slothfulness (Proverbs 19:15)

Get the children up at the scheduled time. There is no place for “sleeping in.” There may be a cause for an “hour delay” due to an unforeseen late night the night before. This should be the exception and not the rule. The earlier you start school, the earlier you finish.

3. Reward good behavior (Psalm 18:20)

Offer incentives for chores done promptly. We use a sticker system. Twenty-five stickers earn a tool for the boys. The girls combine theirs for a DVD that Dad and Mom approve of.

4. Approach school time with purpose (Isaiah 46:11b)

Start school with prayer and Bible, and work on school only at the scheduled time. Use a family-friendly curriculum. Many subjects can be taught together. Older children should be disciplined enough to do their schoolwork alone, with occasional help. When older children have a schedule to go by for chores and schoolwork, they shouldn’t have to interrupt Mom while she is teaching and helping the little ones. Don’t answer the phone during school time. Invest in an answering machine if you do not have one.

5. Bring order through discipline (Proverbs 13:24)

Keep the schooling environment orderly. Limit the activity of little ones during school time. For example, don’t allow drinks except at break time. If there are two or three floors, everyone should stay on same floor (a gate is helpful). Children should know their boundaries. Yes, little ones like to be with Mom. They can play with blocks at your feet or sit on your lap and play quietly while you teach.

6. Finish what you start (Acts 20:24)

On your scheduled break, you can have chore inspection and catch-up time.

A. Unfinished chores can be completed at the loss of break time.

B. When nursing a baby, schedule breaks at nursing time, or nurse the baby before school and after school.

C. Many nursing babies can take a nap during school time.

D. Provide a snack.

E. Start back up on time.

7. Don’t let household tasks interfere (Luke 16:1)

Housecleaning, cooking, folding laundry, yard work, supper preparation, and other household projects should all take place before and after school time. Many of the housekeeping tasks should be delegated to responsible children. Take time while children are young to teach housekeeping tasks one-on-one so that they can do these chores well as they become older.

8. Use school time only for school tasks

Don’t try to work in the kitchen or get laundry in during school time, and don’t schedule appointments during school time. School time should only be school time. Dentists, doctors, and orthodontists want your business, and they will work with you. Our dentist will schedule our whole family in one afternoon if needed, and we have a family of ten! If you leave your place during school time, you can’t expect others to stay where they should be. Have children do their instrument practice as part of their individual schedules before or after school time, not during it.

9. Enjoy your family (Psalm 128:2)

When schoolwork is caught up and chores are all finished, set aside one night a week to watch a video or DVD.

10. Reverence your husband (Ephesians 5:33b)

Work at putting your husband first. The children need to know he is number one in your life. Have a time each day just to converse with him alone, with no interruptions. If your husband works at home or works irregular hours, do not schedule his time. He must oversee all that you schedule, because he will have to answer to God for how he has taught and trained his children to walk in the right paths.

Many moms don’t want to be so rigid. Balance is essential in a homeschooling family, and as a whole, our weakness is not being scheduled enough. Our family, friends, and neighbors often watch us, criticize us, and laugh at us because of our lack of commitment to the very task we preach about.

Beverly Whalen is the wife of David Whalen. They live with their eight children in the country near Enon Valley. Their oldest child, Jeremiah, is 20 and mentally disabled. Their oldest daughter, Susanna, is 18 and teaches a variety of stringed instruments. Twins Naomi and h are 15. They enjoy piano, violin, and harp. Jared and Nathan are 13, also twins. Uriah is 10, and Levi is 6. The boys are taking beginning music lessons and enjoy the Haflinger horses on the family farm. The family sings and plays together as a ministry in their church and likeminded churches. They have been homeschooling for 16 years.

Used by permission from The Old SchoolHouse Magazine: www.thehomeschoolmagazine.com